"The thought of calling off work is like the thought of suicide, just nice to think about." In The No Hellos Diet, Sam Pink brings you straight into a world you've never been to before — your own life. Find yourself working at a department store where everyone must wear red and khaki clothing. Find yourself throwing out garbage for fifty cents more than minimum wage. Find yourself worried about getting your arm ripped off by the box compactor. Find yourself talking about licking assholes with your co-worker. Find yourself driving away into a video game sunset with an Amish man. The No Hellos Diet reminds you of the time you burnt down your future ex-girlfriend's trampoline. It reminds you of the couple of times you smoked crack. And the time you meditated on the most important question of all: Can a cat be killed with a single punch? Find yourself stunned by the prose of a modern novel-master as he follows the course of your life for an entire year