Hello, my name is Bruce Miles and my life means nothing to no one. When I was 12, I watched a falcon carry away my father, leaving me to care for my mother while a mysterious illness slowly transformed her into an arm. Events like these tend to ensure a bleak future and, until recently, I was making good on that promise. I was the sort of person you didn’t notice. I wasn’t worth noticing. Just a talentless nobody destined to die alone and unremembered. Then I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and everything turned around. You see, it turns out I have a gift for illness. My tumours aren’t like other tumours. They’re special. And now that I’m going to die, my once miserable life may actually be worth living. There’s this lady, Fiona. She’s what you’d call a sickness enthusiast and she has a plan that’ll rocket me to superstardom in the underground world of disease fetishists. With her help, I’m going to chase the elusive perfect tumour that will be both my legacy and the key to being something I’ve never been… …interesting